Jill and Bloo

My wife is awesome. This photo is proof.

Matt and the Jug

I won't tell what's in that glass or that clear jug behind me. You figure it out. Happy Holidays!

Hillbilly Medicine

Hillbilly Medicine, originally uploaded by Matt McElhannon.

For a sore throat and congestion*:

2 tbsp Honey
1/2 Lemon
1/2 cup Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey

Heat until just steaming (don't boil!), stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Fill coffee cup half-way and drink. Put leftovers in fridge and take two tbsp every two hours until gone. Get well soon!

*My mother-in-law gave me this recipe. It's very similar to my personal remedy, only mine doesn't require honey or lemon.

Scary Mary

Watch this:

There's nothing I can say that will make this any more ridiculously awesome than it already is, so just watch it again.

For the love of all that's good and decent

Will you people PLEASE stop voting for this piece of white trash?!


I can't take it anymore.

I went to NYC

and all I got was engaged.

Here's my photo essay!








Rockefeller Plaza. Pretty classy, huh?

I know.

For all of you Arlene fans

Per Tyler Durden's (if that is your real name) request, here is another pic of Arlene. With Andy. At the "Pirates of the Caribbean" gift shop.

This just in (my mouth)

I've been learning to cook. When Jilly travels for work, she's gone for at least a week or two at a time and neither my wallet nor my waist can afford to eat out of a box, bag, or foil wrapper for that long. Tonight, with a little phone help from Jilly, my Mama, and Kraft, I successfully* made a meatloaf!



*considering five minutes had passed and I still hadn't blown it back out either end.

Happy Go Fridays Kids Show Go!

It was my turn to write our Japanese game show paradoy "Happy Go Fridays Kids Show Go!" for Fridays. Here's some of what we got from our shoot this past weekend:

Always behind

Apparently some European students are building a home-made satellite that will eventually reach the Moon.

Well, twenty-five years ago, Andy Griffith went to the Moon in a home-made rocket he built himself out of junk. And he was an American, by God!

Questions & concerns

I've received several questions the past few days pertaining to the cost of the Fridays "Haunted House" set. It is rather impressive so I can understand your curiosity. Remember Arlene that I spoke of in an earlier post? Well, here she is, hard at work as always:



Arlene is our producer on Fridays. She handles all the stuff that we don't, or shouldn't, handle, namely money. Oftimes, you can hear Arlene across the office, laughing hysterically at our scripts, not because they're funny, but because we don't have the money. So ask her how much the set costs, because, to be honest, we don't know or care.

Now the concern:


Matthew Lesko, the crazy "get free money from the government" guy on those infomercials, was here yesterday shooting a promo for [adult swim]. He was even wearing that suit of his, and yes, the government paid for the whole thing.

Walking tour of a haunted house

This is the Fridays "Haunted House" set for October. It's definitely a fixer-upper.

Shootin' Fridays

The entire Cartoon Network Program Production team was at Turner Studios this weekend shooting Fridays. Here's the entire Cartoon Network Program Production team:

Me, Andy, Steve, and Lammy the Incontinent Lamb.


There's one more person, Arlene, on the Fridays team, and I don't know where she was when we took this; perhaps she was actually working. We're shooting October shows with Tommy and Tara on our special Haunted House set, pics of which I will post...post haste!

I just got back from vacation...

And here I am with a huge erection - the Tybee Island Lighthouse! Although they call it a "light station" cuz they're all upitty on Tybee Island, I guess.

Return of the Hillbilly

Oh yeah, Hillbilly fans! I've been gone a long while, but now I'm BACK! I've started a new job at Cartoon, I've got a new girlfriend, and it's football season!

As you can see from my previous post, it was last football season. So basically, I suck. But since Blogger has gotten fancier and I can post all kinds of different ways, I'll do it more often. More pictures, more posts, more Hillbilly! You dig?!

Aight, back to Celebrity Fit Club 2: Electric Boogaloo. They're about to weigh in. That Toccara is round in all the right places! If I had a swing like that, I'd put it on my front porch!

Happy New Year!

TODAY is the OUTBACK BOWL! Georgia Bulldogs vs. Wisconsin Badgers! Kickoff is 11:00! Watch it!

GO DAWGS!!

georgiadogs.com

UPDATE!
Bulldogs WIN! 24 - 21!

HOW BOUT THEM DAWGS!!

Georgia Bulldogs vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

Forgot to tell y'all! It was Saturday, Nov. 27!

GO DAWGS!!

georgiadogs.com

Bulldogs WIN! 19 - 13

HOW BOUT THEM DAWGS!!

Cowboy Up

A couple of Fridays ago, my boss took our department on a retreat to Chateau Elan, a resort / spa / winery just north of Atlanta. It's quite beautiful and, being in the country, a serene place, with golf courses and misty vineyards surrounding the hotel and chateau. There were plans for horseback riding, I picturing myself trotting out of the chateau's stables atop my noble steed, surveying the grandeur around me, lord of the manor.

Instead, they herd us onto a couple of short-buses and ship us off to a horse farm about forty minutes away - and you thought the chateau was in the country. My boss' assistant and I made a game of seeing who could find the house with the most cars on cinder blocks in the front yard. You got extra points if the lawn had been mowed around the cars without moving them, and if the actual house had wheels, it was all over. Our game didn't last very long.

We go horseback riding at Montara Farm in two groups: the first group is supposed to be the more experienced riders and the second group the beginners. Now I've ridden before but it's been several years, and the first group is short a few riders so they ask for volunteers. I go reluctantly, but after noticing our head wrangler assigning us to horses by talking to each of us individually and matching them to our personalities, I began to feel a lot better. She assigned me to Haley, who she described as a "tomboy that didn't like girls" and loved guys, so I asked Haley where had she been all my life.

Out on the trail, we rode up hills and through forest, past a primitive graveyard; the entire ride was only a couple of hours, but it seemed like it lasted for days and I didn't want it to end. There were several points on the trail where we would reach a pasture, and our guide would coax us and our horses into galloping and running. The horses didn't need much coaxing, almost instantly hitting a sprint as soon as they reached the edge of the pasture. Our guide said not to let us pass her, and it was all I could do to hold Haley back. After our first run, the guide says to me, "Oh yeah, I should've told you - Haley will outrun any of these horses if you give her the chance." That's all I needed to hear.

When we reached the next pasture, Haley and I broke and ran - it was incredible. I've ridden motorcycles before and often develop a lead foot when I drive a car, but this was entirely different, and a little addictive. So the next time around, I let her do what she wanted, which apparently was to be the leader. She shot like a bullet, overtaking several of our friends.

Haley came a little too close to some trees on our right. I ducked to the left to miss a low branch, but when I came up, I over-corrected and went far to the right, sliding off the saddle. Try as I might, I couldn't get her to stop, and I couldn't get upright, so I only had two options: stay in the stirrup and catch a tree with my face, or jump as far as I could and hope I don't get trampled by the others.

That's exactly what I did, tucking and rolling far from the other horses, landing in a briar patch, absolutely covered in thorns. Luckily, I saw where my glasses landed, so I reached for those first, realizing as I did that at least nothing up top was broken. Now to move my legs. No pain there, either. I stood up, looked at everybody, looked at Haley - and hopped right back on. Understandably, everyone kept asking if I was alright, checking my bumps and scrapes, but I kept telling them to get back on and ride. They were wasting my time and Haley's time. And we ran until Haley and I both worked up a good lather.

Now, I know there are a lot of you horseback riders out there, and you're probably rolling your eyes right now saying, "Big deal." Well in a way, it was a big deal. I didn't get back on because everyone was watching and I had to be a big shot; those aren't the kind of people I work with and they were genuinely concerned that I was injured. The way I see it, I could've given up easily and walked back. A few years ago I probably might have. A few years ago, I probably would've been too heavy to get up on a horse, and still been sitting at the bunkhouse waiting on everybody.

That's why I got back on - because I needed to. I did exactly the same thing two years back when I made the commitment to lose weight. I did it when I lost my Daddy in a car wreck and knew I needed to take care of my Mama.

I had to cowboy up.

It gets hard - as hard as I hit the ground. But you have to get up, brush off and take your lumps. It was never more literal than right there in that pasture. A good friend just kept going on and on about how "huge" what I did was, and I ain't gonna argue, because it was huge. I remind myself everyday.

'Course it's also hard to forget when your ass still hurts.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The History of Thanksgiving

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. My Mama, for her love and support, and for reminding me to take life as it comes.


2. Georgia Bulldogs football - and baseball, basketball, soccer, gymnastics, ballroom dancing, chess club and anything else that has to do with the Georgia Bulldogs.


3. Coffee with cream and Sugar In The Raw.

Okay, your turn.

Georgia Bulldogs vs. Auburn Tigers

TODAY! Kickoff is 3:30! Watch it!

GO DAWGS!!

georgiadogs.com

UPDATE!
Bulldogs LOSE! 24 - 6